


It's Instinct, Baby

by black_tea



Series: The Masks We Wear [10]
Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Pregnancy Test, alpha!Bill Tench, omega!Holden Ford, work frustrations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:01:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_tea/pseuds/black_tea
Summary: Holden and Bill move ahead with their decision to try for a baby. Meanwhile, the BSU receives a new request for help, only this time Bill will be going by himself leaving Holden back in Virginia. Holden isn't pleased with the arrangement, but there's something to look forward to on the horizon, he hopes.
Relationships: Holden Ford/Bill Tench
Series: The Masks We Wear [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803040
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	1. Burning For You

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Tuesday everybody!

Holden sat on the end of the examining table, ignoring the doctor's poking and prodding. _At least he doesn't pester me about finding a mate anymore._ The bite on Holden's shoulder automatically answered any questions regarding his relationship status and had pleased his doctor to no end.

“Do you have any questions for me? Anything concerning you about your health?” Dr. Gershart asked.

Normally Holden answered this in the negative. He eyed the doctor sidelong, still feeling awkward about a perfectly normal topic that most omegas brought up at some point. “My mate and I are considering trying for a baby.” _Why is this so difficult for me? Why do I feel guilty about wanting something so normal?_ The answer lay in a mixture of his upbringing and his own skewed ideas regarding success, but it was annoying to know the feelings were irrational but be unable to change them.

“I'm thirty-two – that shouldn't cause any problems, should it?”

“Not at all. I wouldn't put it off too much longer, but you're right in the window for an average pregnancy. You're healthy, don't smoke – that's important. Babies born to omegas are usually a little smaller. Nothing to worry about, perfectly normal, but you don't want to add to that.” He considered his patient for a moment.

“When was your last unsuppressed heat cycle?”

“Around six months ago.”

“Was it a normal duration?”

“Yes, a week of symptoms and about twenty four hours of full heat,” Holden replied, reminding himself he was talking to a medical professional.

“Any cramping? Painful intercourse?”

“Uh, no. Everything was normal.” He supposed that was one thing he could be glad about. Heat may have made his life difficult in the past, but it had always followed the same pattern and was easy to predict.

“There's nothing about your health or age to raise any red flags. If you do get pregnant, I can refer you to an obstetrician experienced with omegas.”

“Thank you.” Holden was glad to know he didn't have anything to worry about, but was also very ready for the conversation to end. He shook hands with the doctor and pulled his shirt back on. Glancing at his watch, there was no point in going back to work, so he headed home.

He changed clothes, pulled out some chicken breasts to defrost, and considered his future. Having a child with Bill had gotten lodged firmly in his head, and the thought not going through with it left an unexpected sense of loss. But the idea of pregnancy was slightly terrifying, and not just for the usual reasons. Carrying a baby meant the collision of the two worlds he inhabited – that of an omega with normal omega behaviors and a mate, and a professional in a career that carried with it a different set of expectations. And even though he knew it was stupid, he couldn't easily shake his upbringing that insisted he chase the latter and avoid the former. He was happily mated and preferred being his omega self. Anymore, the beta mannerisms that used to feel protective now felt like an ill fitting suit he tolerated when he had too. Pregnancy, however, was the last threshold to cross.

He puttered around for awhile, eventually returning to the kitchen to deal with dinner. Whoever made it home first got dinner started, and if they got home around the same time, they cooked together which was more enjoyable. Holden wasn't bad in the kitchen. He had lived on his own for years, forcing him to learn to feed himself without resorting to eating out constantly. However, Bill was far more confident when it came to food preparation. 

Bill walked in when Holden was bent over digging a pan out of the lower cupboard, and he felt his mate's hand appreciatively rub over the curve of his ass. Holden straightened up, pan in hand. “Hi.” He half turned to give the alpha a quick kiss. Bill slid his hand into the back pocket of Holden's jeans.

“If you want to eat tonight, you'd better stop being distracting,” Holden warned with mock sternness. 

“Distracting you? Maybe you're the one distracting me.” He slid his arms around Holden's middle.

Holden enjoyed the attention. In the past he hadn't felt particularly desirable. He had never been enough for his female partners. But Bill made him feel wanted, and he loved it. However, he was also getting hungry. He turned his head to receive a kiss from Bill. “Food, Bill.”

“OK, I'll get changed and give you a hand.” He gave his mate a playful swat on the rear as he left.

“How did the doctor's appointment go? I take it everything's OK?” Bill asked as he pitched in with dinner.

“Everything's fully functional.” Holden was silent for a moment as he peeled the outer papery skin off an onion. “I'm going to stop taking my birth control,” he said. His voice held a quiet determination.

Bill reached out and gave his waist a squeeze with one hand. “If this is what you want, then don't worry about what you think people expect of you.”

Holden looked up sharply. “I'm being obvious again?”

“Yes, and I know you. When I first met you, you were trying so hard to be a beta, and male betas don't get pregnant. Most people want kids with their spouse, no need to feel weird about it.”

“I know that. Feeling it is another matter. I do want to, though. Oh my god, this onion...” He turned away and wiped his streaming eyes with his forearm. “This thing is nuclear powered. You laugh, but I can move it near you.” Holden threatened his mate.

He dumped the offending onion into the pan. “I wonder what my parents will say.”

“I wouldn't worry about it,” Bill replied. “It's not their decision. You know your uncles and cousins will be happy for you.”

“That's true.” He held out a small, faint hope that a grandchild might soften his mother's attitude and end the stand off that had been going on for the past year and half. She had become cool and distant in an effort to force Holden to mend his ways, and Holden refused to budge. Holden glanced at the calendar tacked to the wall. He had marked off the likely start of his next cycle with an X. 

“You haven't heard about them wanting to send you anywhere in the next few weeks?” Holden asked.

“No, not that I know of. There maybe something in the works, but not that soon. You'd know about it anyway,” he pointed out gently. “I'll be here.”

Holden nodded, shoving down his frustration with work and reminding himself that it was opening up a different kind of opportunity.

* * *

Holden woke up Monday morning feeling slow and foggy. A quick shower helped revive him, but he felt off. Not sick, but not his usual self. Early heat symptoms. Relief blossomed in his gut. Despite Bill's assertion to the contrary, Holden had been concerned that he might be sent out of town. Heat all but ensured a pregnancy in a healthy omega. However, it only came around three to four times a year, three for Holden. If Bill went out of town, it would be months before they'd get another opportunity. By another stroke of luck, it looked as if the peak of his heat would fall on the weekend, which made things even easier.

He snuggled up to Bill as soon as he appeared. “Probably this weekend,” he said.

“Oh? _Oh._ ” Bill held him close, running his hands over Holden's body. “Couldn't have timed that better.”

“I just have to get through a week of wanting to eat everything in sight,” Holden sighed. He had wisely thrown some extra snacks in his bag. He reluctantly pulled away from Bill, the part of his brain not focused on mating, recognizing the need to leave for work in a timely manner.

Shortly after they arrived, Wendy pulled them all together into an impromptu meeting. “Gunn was down and dropped this off.” She held up the file folder. “It's not clear whether this case is going to turn into anything or not. There is some possibility that the murders could be related. Their are similarities in their profiles and in the drugs found in their system. However, the method the killer used differed between victims. There are only two now, but a third woman was reported missing.” 

She passed out the information for their review. “Read up on this, if the third woman turns up dead, and there's enough similarity in the manner of death, the police could call us in.”

Holden took the folder from Wendy, curious. He needed something to put his mind to, but he was concerned that Bill could be suddenly called away. “Did Gunn give any kind of a timeline?”

She shook her head. “The police are fairly early into their investigation. From what I understand, they weren't eager to spend a lot of resources on these two deaths, and I don't think they'll move much further until they have more confidence that they're connected. I wouldn't expect them to send one of us in before next week.”

Holden breathed an inner sigh of relief and briefly glanced over at Bill, but the alpha's expression wasn't giving anything away. He tried not to think about the fact that he would not be sent in this time as he went back to his desk to start reading through the file.

* * *

Tuesday morning found Holden standing in front of the bathroom mirror forcing his hair to behave when Bill walked up behind him. He slid his hands down Holden's arms and back over his shoulders. His sensitized body thrilled at the alpha's touch. “You still ready to do this? To make a baby?”

He knew Bill was giving him a chance to change his mind. It was early enough in his cycle, several days from full blown heat, that he could go back to birth control. While there was a chance the disruption in his medication might result in pregnancy, most likely it would work... if he began taking it now. One more day would probably be too late. He briefly considered it, but the thought of taking the little yellow pill brought with it that sense of loss, of what could have been. “Yeah,” he replied. “I am.” 

They were standing so close he could feel the warmth from Bill's body. He shifted slightly and found his ass pressed against Bill's groin. He straightened and leaned back a little, so that his back rested against Bill's front. Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him in tight. He could smell his mate's arousal and pleasure.

“Good,” Bill replied.

“Smug alpha,” Holden teased. He turned is head and parted his lips for a kiss, and sighed at the touch of Bill's tongue against his lips. They stood snug together, tasting each other for several long minutes before Bill let him go and stepped back, slowly running his hand down Holden's spine as he did so. Holden returned to preparing for work, though he would rather spend the morning laying in bed naked with Bill. At this point in his run up to heat, he craved touch. Not sex persay as his body was hoarding it's resources for the main event, but closeness with his mate.

They drove separately, so Holden didn't completely distract Bill in the close confines of a vehicle. Bill beat him there, mostly because he had been bent on distracting him that morning. Holden dumped his bag at his desk and began his usual routine. He was certain there were noticeable changes in his behavior. He had trouble sitting still, snacked more than normal, and couldn't concentrate. Heat was distracting and placed high demands on his body, but neither Wendy nor Gregg commented on his erratic behavior. It was possible Wendy was quite aware of what was happening, especially since both he and Bill had time off, and he was fairly certain Gregg thought he was odd anyway.

He refused to allow himself to hang around Bill's office. That would only distract the alpha and make his own frustrations worse. Instead he opened up the case file he had been working on. The Bureau might not want him directly working on investigations, but Gunn had made it clear that Holden's insights were important, that he still had a supporting role to play. He was lucky his heat was hitting so soon – Bill could be heading out to Detroit next week, if the police couldn't make enough progress on their own. Holden felt a pang. He knew he was still a necessary part of the unit, and that the current situation was temporary, but the restrictions rankled. Still, it was giving him the opportunity to have a child with Bill. The thought of his mate sent his mind skittering off into directions not associated with the case. 

Several hours later Wendy walked by his desk and wordlessly set a granola bar down in front of him. “You can tell?” he asked.

“Yes.” Something akin to amusement passed over her features before she moved on to talk to Bill. 

Looking back, Holden couldn't say if the next few days passed quickly or slowly. Work crawled as the need to be with his mate became consuming, but the nerves around what they were about to embark on seemed to catapult him forward. He could tell Friday morning that he had about twenty four hours before full heat. 

Bill walked up behind him and caught his jaw gently in one hand in order to tilt Holden's head to the side so Bill could more easily scent his neck. He inhaled deeply before kissing Holden just under his ear. “Are you OK to go into work?”

Holden thought about this seriously for a long moment, unconsciously pressing backwards against Bill's body. “Yes.” Holden wasn't one to take risks when it came to heat. No omega wanted to go into full heat in a public place. However, it rarely accelerated that fast, and Holden was used to gauging his symptoms. “I should be fine today, but tomorrow...”

“Tomorrow I'm going to make you feel very very good,” Bill promised, giving him another kiss. “Maybe put a baby in there.” He patted Holden's flat belly.

“Mmmm...” Holden tilted his head up and to the side for another kiss, feeling pleased and pleasantly aroused. “If you don't let go of me, neither of us is going to make it to work,” he pointed out reluctantly. He loved his job, but would rather cuddle in bed with Bill.

Bill reluctantly let him go, but not before lightly slapping his ass. “I'd better drive separately, or you're going to be way to distracted, or distracting,” Holden informed him, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a smile.

* * *

Bill spent the day keeping a covert eye on his mate. He couldn't help it. He was an alpha, and his mate was about to enter into a very vulnerable state. Logically, Holden knew his own business when it came to his body, but that didn't entirely sooth the alpha need to protect. Holden had been twitchy and restless all day, and the last time Bill had swung by on the way to speak to Wendy, he noticed Holden smelled anxious. Bill figured that he wasn't feeling safe. Omegas naturally wanted to hole up in a safe place when they went into heat, though he had no doubt Holden would deny feeling anything of the sort. Bill tried to give him his space, knowing that his mate didn't like to feel coddled.

When the afternoon had mostly worn away, Bill stopped by Holden's desk and glanced around, but Gregg wasn't anywhere in sight. He rubbed a hand over Holden's shoulders and upper back. “You're struggling, why don't you go on home. Unless you need me to drive you?”

“No, I can drive fine,” Holden insisted. “It's just hard to sit here and concentrate.” 

“Then go home, and I'll be there in a little while,” Bill coaxed. His mate looked uncomfortable, probably was uncomfortable. It showed in his scent and his tense body.

Holden hesitated, before beginning to pack up. “You're right...I probably shouldn't be here at this point.” He flashed Bill a smile and headed for the elevator, clearly wanting to be gone.

Bill had to admit it would be easier for him to focus on work with his mate not there. Holden was sexy as hell when he was teetering on the edge of full heat. The way he moved and carried himself shifted, became more sensual. He touched himself frequently – not in a sexual way, and if Bill had to guess, he figured it was self soothing. He craved Bill's touch, and couldn't get it at work, so he would absently touch his face or arms. They were small things, and he doubted anyone else noticed or thought anything of them. He doubted Holden even knew what he was doing, but Bill was wired to notice the little nuances of behavior that pointed at a readiness to mate.

He went back to work in an attempt to distract himself. He desired closeness with Holden, his touch, the feel of his mate's body pressed against him, as much as Holden wanted the same from him. The clock seemed to slow. Holden called to let him know he had made it home OK, and Bill felt some relief. He could tell the omega was starting to feel fuzzy. He went back to the case file and wondered if they would be asked to assist. So far it was just a missing person's case, but it was coming on the heels of two murdered young women that might be connected. If another body turned up.... 

“Did Holden leave?” Wendy asked from the doorway.

“Yeah. He's not going to be worth much right now. It seems to be hitting him harder this time. _Is it the lack of any medication in his system, or just a fluke?_ He didn't have to specify to Wendy what 'it' was. 

“And you're still here?” She asked with a small smile. She sat down in the chair across from Bill's desk.

“Believe me, if I could leave, I would, but I wanted to dig into this a little more.” He picked up the thick file folder. “I'm predicting they're going to want help.”

“What do you think about the first two murders?”

“I can see where the police are coming from. Both are prostitutes, and that's a high risk profession. There's no immediate reason to assume they were killed by the same person. One was suffocated with a pillow, the other strangled, but both had high amounts of sedatives in their systems. Same drugs, neither would have been able to fight back drugged to the teeth. Both were young adults, though they weren't taken from the same area.”

“The killer might have been afraid his vehicle would be identified if always took victims from the same place,” Wendy suggested.

“I had the same thought and so did Holden. Another young woman was reported missing by her sister. She was a drug addict. So another at risk individual around the same age as the first two, and it's not unusual for addicts to end up selling themselves. If she turns up dead with the same drugs in her system...”

“You think she's going to turn up dead.” It was a statement not a question.

“I think the police aren't taking this seriously enough. The first victim actually came from a fairly affluent family, and that's the only reason they took a second look and contacted us. She was a run away with a drug problem,” Bill sighed. “She'd go through periods where she'd return home, try and get clean, end up using, and be back on the street again.” 

“All three victims had issues with drug abuse,” Wendy mused. “Did they say what their drugs of choice were?”

“The first victim had a pretty serious cocaine habit. I'm not sure about the other two – they didn't specify other than the sedative that came up on the toxicology report. It doesn't look like they went out of their way to investigate these.”

“Bill, you should go home, take care of your mate. We can discuss this on Monday when Holden is fully functional again.”

* * *

Bill didn't immediately see Holden when he walked in and stuck his head in the living room. “Holden?”

“Here,” came his voice from down the hall.

The omega was curled up on the bed with a book wearing one of Bill's worn, soft t-shirts and a pair of knit gym shorts. Bill sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. “Hey, baby.” He leaned over and kissed Holden on the mouth, a shiver of arousal running through his belly. Holden's scent was changing, and he smelled amazing. What omegas actually smelled like was a point of curiosity among male betas, but Bill had trouble fully describing Holden's scent – putting it into words somehow diminished it's power. He smelled sweet, and as desirable as every good thing to eat, and it pulled up feelings in Bill, of the safety of home, warmth, affection, and a lust so deep and profound it overpowered all reason. 

Holden smiled at him and set the book aside, sitting up and running his hand over Bill's back and shoulder. “Hi, I was going to start dinner...” he said, somewhat apologetic.

“Don't worry about it. I didn't expect you to.” He nuzzled against his neck. “Is that my shirt you're wearing?”

“It smells like you,” Holden replied seriously.

“OK, sweetie.” He kissed away Holden's objection to the endearment. Bill reluctantly stood and went about changing his clothes, feeling his mate's eyes on him. “Are you hungry?”

“A little, not as much.”

“Oh, so then you're really far along if your appetite is switching off. Maybe you shouldn't have gone to work today.” Bill half turned towards him, the protective side of his alpha nature suddenly rearing it's head.

Holden sat curled up watching him. “I would have left, if I thought it was going to become a problem,” he reassured his mate. “But it's good to be home with you, finally.” He stretched languidly, and it was all Bill could do not to climb into bed next to him. He managed to get himself under control. He wanted to get some food into Holden before he became so lost in the need to mate that he was unable to eat.

Holden followed Bill to the kitchen. “You didn't have to get up,” Bill told him as Holden's hands squeezed his waist. He wasn't surprised. Holden wanted to be near his mate, preferably touching him. Bill would be lying if he claimed not to enjoy the attention, and Holden's heat affected him strongly as well. He was far more comfortable having his mate nearby.

This was the part of heat and rut that popular culture tended to gloss over in favor of the overwhelming need for sex and loss of control. Bill thought that was too bad. He liked the feeling of being able to care for his mate. With Nancy, he had often felt he couldn't give his family what they needed, but with Holden he felt capable. He understood his needs and could fulfill them. 

Later that evening he sat on the sofa with Holden cuddled against him in the crook of his arm, head resting on Bill's shoulder, and bare legs draped over his lap. The omega was relaxed, content, as Bill's other hand caressed whatever bare skin it could access. Bill gently stroked down his face and neck, jumping to investigate the softer skin at the bend of his elbow and forearm, before move to the expanse of his bare legs. He ran his hand over Holden's knee and up to feel the warm, silky flesh of his inner thigh. Holden snuggled tighter in against him, parting his legs a little to give access to Bill's questing hand.

“You're so soft right here,” he said, making circular patterns with his fingertips. Holden made a pleased sound at Bill's touch and pressed his lips to the alpha's neck, inhaling his scent. “This has hit you harder this time, hasn't it?”

“Hmmm...a little. It was just difficult today,” he admitted, his hand sliding under Bill's shirt to stroke his chest. His hand was warm and gentle. “I wanted to be where it felt...safe.”

“You wanted to nest,” Bill said.

“Bill, I do not nest,” Holden objected. 

Bill couldn't help but smirk. “Sweetheart, you do.” He gave Holden's hip a pat. “It's why you were hanging out in the bedroom when I got home.”

“It was comfortable.”

“You never just hang out in the bedroom,” Bill pointed out, amused. “Unless you're in heat.”

Holden made a sound of disgust. “What?” Bill asked, trying not to laugh at his disgruntled mate. “What's so bad about wanting to nest? It's just an impulse to be somewhere safe during heat or childbirth.”

“Nothing, there's nothing wrong with it. I just don't.”

“OK, keep telling yourself that,” Bill chuckled. 

Holden ignored the comment in favor of pulling Bill's shirt off, so he could run his hands over his torso unimpeded. “Actually, I'd like to go to bed with you now.” 

“Back to your nest, you mean,” Bill smirked, unable to help himself.

“No, as in it's a more comfortable place to take your clothes off. I love your body and want to touch it,” he replied in exasperation. “If you'd rather not...” his voice trailed off as he he shifted his position and lowered his head to press kisses across Bill's chest.

Bill's hands ran over Holden's back, his cock half hard as he drew a shaky breath. “I'd rather,” he replied, voice husky. “Come on, let's go.”


	2. Together and Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holden spends his heat with Bill, and just in time as Bill gets sent out of town.

Holden slid off Bill's lap feeling pleased with himself and life in general. The outside world had shrunk away, becoming distant and unimportant. His awareness now rested solely on his body and his mate. He stood and stretched, loving the way his body felt, sensitive, sensual, so very much alive; loving Bill's strong, warm hands on him; loving the spicy scent of aroused alpha.

Though he refused to admit it to Bill, he did feel safest in the bedroom. Holden felt himself relax as soon as he crossed the threshold into the calm, quiet room filled with his and Bill's co-mingled scents. He turned to Bill when they were next to the bed and undid the button and fly on his pants, pushing them and his boxers down to pool around his ankles. Bill cupped his face in his hands and pulled him into a kiss as Holden used his fingertips to map the familiar terrain of his body. Holden loved the power and breadth of Bill's chest and shoulders, loved the way the salt and pepper fuzz on his lower belly felt under his fingers. He broke the kiss to turn his attention to Bill's nipples, the alpha's breath hitching as Holden teased them with his tongue.

Holden climbed onto the bed and pulled Bill towards him so he could kiss and nuzzle against his middle as his hands ran over Bill's hips and around to squeeze his ass. He shifted back a little to consider Bill's erection, before lapping at the head. He slowly took his mate into his mouth, enjoying the warm weight of his cock and his gasp of pleasure. 

Bill's fingers carded through Holden's hair as he murmured encouragement, his hips twitching forward, chasing the sensation of his mate's mouth. Holden spent several minutes sucking Bill down, taking as much of him in as he could, lost in the sensations of his body and his mate's pleasure until he could feel the slick trickle down his thighs. Holden's own need was rapidly building, and he pulled off, giving Bill's cock one last lick. “I need you,” he said, his voice coming out in a near whine that would have been embarrassing if he wasn't in heat. There was no room for shame or embarrassment during heat. In some ways it was the ultimate sexual freedom.

“I'm right here, baby,” Bill soothed, pushing him down and kissing him deeply. “Damn, you smell so good,” he murmured when they broke the kiss. He buried his face in Holden's neck, sucking at the spot near his scent gland, his hands busy pushing down Holden's shorts. Holden cried out as Bill's hand brushed over his cock, and he attempted to wrap himself around Bill, arching upwards to seek contact with his mate. This is what he wanted more than anything, and everything else fell away. Work didn't matter, the ongoing cold war with his mother didn't matter, and the little stresses and anxieties melted away under Bill's hands and mouth. 

Bill pushed him down more firmly into the bedding, “You're so beautiful like this,” he murmured, soothing Holden with his voice and caress. He kissed Holden almost delicately, and the omega made a frustrated noise as desire coiled hot and heavy in his belly and groin. 

Bill pushed himself up and gently but firmly untangled himself from Holden's limbs, so he could roll the omega over onto his belly. Bill's body quickly covered his own, taking a moment to run his lips over Holden's bare shoulder, licking at the bond bite. Holden shivered even as Bill's heat soaked into him. He pushed Holden's right leg forward, and he could feel the tip of the alpha's cock press against his slick opening. Holden pushed backwards, desperate to feel his mate moving inside him. Normally he enjoyed Bill's teasing fingers first, but he was in no mood to be teased and slowly worked up. He was already there. Bill thrust forward and Holden could have cried with relief as Bill filled him so perfectly. Bill rested his weight on one arm and wrapped the other firmly around Holden's chest. He relaxed, letting go of everything, content to let his body be used in the best way possible, feeling safe and secure in Bill's arms.

Holden gripped the she sheets as he and Bill moved together, finding their rhythm. For long minutes harsh breathing, the sound of skin on skin and the gentle creaking of the bed were the only sounds. They were both too lost in heat and rut to find any words, but they were lost together. Finally he could feel Bill's knot press against him, demanding entrance. He groaned as he stretched further around his mate, something his body was made for and could easily take and only heightened his pleasure. He could feel himself moving closer to release as liquid heat filled him, building, bringing him ever closer to release. He let out a soft contented sound when he finally came, his body going rigid before relaxing under Bill's weight. Bill didn't last too much longer, letting out a 'fuck, Holden,” as his orgasm rippled through him.

After, Holden lay spooned against Bill, for the moment sated. When Bill was able to disengage he rolled Holden over, so he could kiss his forehead, then his lips. “You're perfect, sweetheart.” He traced Holden's features with a forefinger before kissing him again, languid and sweet. Holden was normally a talker, but it took too much of his concentration to carry on a conversation when there were other things filling his awareness. He was never so hyper aware of his body than when he was in heat. Bill's scent came to him even sharper than usual, and he found himself distracted by the feel of his mate's body under his hands, by Bill's size and strength. With all of the social conditioning and expectations stripped away, he could admit he not only felt protected, but that he liked the feeling. He nuzzled against Bill's neck inhaling his scent, a mix of alpha spiciness and undertones that were unique to him. His eyes half closed in contentment, his body giving him a brief respite from the clawing need.

Bill raised himself up a little to regard the drowsy omega. “Do you need something to drink?” Bill was always better able to split his attention between rut and practical matters.

“Mmmm...sure.” Holden murmured after a pause, not really caring one way or another.

Bill lifted himself up, briefly robbing Holden of his warmth. After the first time they shared a heat cycle, they had taken to keeping a jug of water by the bedside. Bill gently prodded Holden, and he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position to accept the glass, Bill helping to steady it. He knew Bill was studying his naked body, but he was incapable of feeling self conscious. Instead, he just felt pleased by the alpha's attention. _His_ alpha's attention. The thought made his lips curl into a smile as he drank. 

Bill ran a finger down the underside of his jaw, tipped back to drink, down his chest and flat belly, and lightly over his half hard cock. Holden handed the glass back, wanting to go back to kissing and touching his mate. Bill reached over to set the glass back on the bedside table as Holden languidly stretched. “You're sexy, you know that?”

“OK,” he draped his arms around Bill's neck and tilted his head for a kiss. Bill's mouth was soft and warm – comforting. Bill sucked at his bottom lip before releasing it in favor of finding a spot on Holden's neck. The thought that it might leave a mark briefly floated through Holden's head, but he couldn't remember why it mattered, so he tilted his head back to give Bill better access to the column of his throat.

Bill made an appreciative noise. The hard, sucking pressure of Bill's mouth began to bring his arousal back in full force. “Bill, I need more,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. He felt Bill's hands on his shoulders push him back down onto the mattress, and it felt good to lay back against the soft sheets. Bill lowered himself on top of the omega, and Holden reached up to run his hands through the short cropped hair, and then down over broad shoulders. He could feel Bill's erection press against his belly, and it brought the need roaring back in full intensity. Heat was demanding, it wanted, it hungered, it was implacable. But Bill knew what he needed, as he hooked Holden's legs over his shoulders, spreading him open. 

Bill turned what could be a miserable, desperate experience into pleasure. Every thrust drove his arousal higher, but it also promised release, something Holden wouldn't have the benefit of without an alpha. But bad past memories of such instances didn't cross Holden's mind. He couldn't hold them or much else. He could only experience the present. And so it went on, fevered building desire, then respite, then the hunger returned, then a respite with Bill making sure he was taken care of. He finally started to come out of it, the haze beginning to diminish and the sex less all consuming need and more playful. He eventually cuddled against Bill, fully aware and sated.

“This always happens,” Holden grumbled.

“What does?” Bill's voice was drowsy, and he drew Holden against him more firmly.

“I want to sleep, but I also need to shower, but I have to get up to shower.” Needing to shower was an understatement. He felt sticky and sweaty. 

“That's a dilemma,” Bill's voice was more wakeful now. “It would be more comfortable to sleep after a bath and clean sheets,” he pointed out, his thoughts undoubtedly traveling in the same direction as Holden's. He slowly released Holden and sat up. He looked down at the omega still curled up in the middle of bed, and rested a hand on the jut of his hip.

“Bath,” he said. “Come on.”

Holden gave himself a moment before slowly rising. He was always sore after, that was inevitable, and a little shaky. Bill got up to start the water running and returned for his mate who had made it to his feet, though he was wobbly legged.

“Here.” He wrapped an arm around Holden to steady him. 

Holden normally took showers not baths, but he had to admit the thought of relaxing in the warm water was a nice thought. He lowered himself in carefully, accepting a hand from Bill, and scooted up, so Bill could slide in behind him.

“This tub is really not big enough for two grown men.” Holden leaned back against Bill's chest and closed his eyes, allowing himself a soak for his sore body.

“It's good enough.” Bill reached for the wash cloth draped over the side and began to wash Holden's midsection and thighs. “Are you going to fall asleep?”

“No, just taking a minute.” He sat up so he could get down to the business of getting clean. He was feeling more like himself by the minute, a tired self, but completely aware and functional. He felt Bill's lips on his back and smiled. “You feeling OK?”

“Never better. You know, they say it's healthier for alphas to periodically go into rut.”

“That doesn't surprise me. You can say this whole thing is for your health,” Holden teased. 

Holden did feel better once clean and dry in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Bill went about putting clean sheets on the bed and rescuing the blankets they had kicked off before getting down to business the evening before. As soon as he was able, he collapsed on to the soft surface. “It's Saturday now, right?”

“7:18PM Saturday. You should probably eat something.”

Holden opened one eye. “You always worry about my eating after, but I did nothing but eat all week. Right now I just want to sleep. I haven't done more than doze over the past twenty four hours.”

Bill patted his hip. “OK, I'm going to eat something before I join you.” 

Holden pulled the covers up more securely around and passed out, not even waking when Bill came in a few hours later.

* * *

“Got a little carried away?” Holden asked, pointing to one of the obvious bruises on his neck. Bill caught his jaw in his hand, so he could tilt his mate's head and inspect the damage. “I'm not going to be able to cover that up.”

“People will know you had a good time this weekend. You look like an omega who's been mated.” Bill sounded extremely unperturbed. 

Holden huffed in exasperation as Bill pressed his lips to each mark. It was typical alpha behavior. Alphas liked the area around the omega's sent glands and tended to focus a lot of attention there. Bill was usually good about not leaving hickies in places Holden's collared shirts wouldn't cover, but rut seemed to overcome his sense of discretion.

He released Holden and shrugged into his dress shirt. Holden gave up fussing with his shirt collar and tucked his shirt into his pants, pausing for a moment in thought. “I could be pregnant right now. That's a surreal thought.” He ran a hand over his flat belly, wishing he knew what was going on in there. Pregnancy tests wouldn't work before three weeks after the heat cycle.

“There's a good chance you are,” Bill agreed, his manner noticeably smug. “We'll find out in a few weeks.”

Holden felt good, he usually had a burst of extra energy after the recovery period. He spent Sunday mostly napping, his head pillowed on Bill's lap while his mate watched baseball. Now on Monday morning, he was ready to go. The fog had lifted, the outside world returned to his awareness, and his ability to focus restored.

* * *

“For now, let's assume these two cases are connected,” Wendy began. “It isn't certain that they are, but it makes an interesting exercise.”

“It's interesting that they were both sedated before being murdered,” Holden said, lounging in his chair. 

“Perhaps he wasn't physically capable of handling a struggling adult,” Gregg suggested.

“But something appealed to him about killing with his own hands. He could have used a drug overdose – it would have been safer. People would have just assumed his victims OD'd themselves.” Holden sat up looking more alert than Bill had seen him in a few days.

“Good thoughts, both of you.” Wendy looked at her notes. “The cause of death was different for both victims. The first was suffocated, the second strangled.”

“Could it be escalation? Maybe he was uncertain, and suffocation with a pillow seemed easier.” Bill could see where a nervous first time killer might opt to use a tool rather than his bare hands.

“Or maybe it had to do with the way he felt about each victim. The pillow seems like a gentler way to go.” Gregg thought for a moment. “Maybe the second victim was more difficult, or made him angry in some way.

“We have a little more information now as well.” Bill announced, though it wasn't very pleasant. “This was faxed over this morning. When the bodies first turned up, the police were ready to write them off. When they went back and took a closer look, it turns out the victims were sexually assaulted after they were deceased.”

Gregg made a face, and Holden looked thoughtful. “That could play into a need for a completely helpless victim either due to preference or physical necessity.”

“You'd think being drugged up would negate that necessity,” Gregg pointed out. “That definitely suggests it's the same guy.”

“Yeah, this is _not_ a thought exercise anymore. There can't be that many men running around with both a drive to kill and fuck corpses.”

“I take it they haven't made any progress on finding the missing woman?” Holden asked. “It's possible she could be unrelated.”

“It's possible,” Bill agreed. “She has a lot in common with the other two victims, but she was engaging in risky behavior, and there's plenty of wackos out there to go around. But if this guy has killed multiple women at this point, then it's unlikely he's just going to stop.”

The body of the missing woman showed up two days later behind a dumpster with sedatives in her system, dead by suffocation, and sexually assaulted after death. Bill would be leaving on Friday morning. Holden fought down a stab of frustration. The killer was different from other cases they had helped with, and he wanted to be there. Only, he wouldn't be there. His status guaranteed it. 

“This is ridiculous.” He huffed as Bill packed. “Being omega doesn't make me physically fragile, and it doesn't interfere with my ability to think.”

“I know,” Bill replied. “It won't last. You're not the only one who thinks it's fucking stupid. Gunn isn't happy with it, and he has some clout.” He clicked the suitcase shut and turned his attention to his mate. “Besides, you could be pregnant,” Bill gently reminded him.

Holden had been about to speak, but closed his mouth. “True,” he finally said. “However, I would rather be staying here because of that, and not because the organization I work for sees me as incapable.”

Not knowing what else to say, Bill pulled him into a rough hug. “It's temporary,” he repeated. “It's only temporary.”

* * *

Bill glanced through the case file while on the flight to Detroit. It wasn't the first time he had been sent to consult with law enforcement without Holden. But on something like this, they would normally be working together. He wished he could offer his mate better words of comfort, but there wasn't anything he could say or do that would change the outcome. And in truth, Holden very well could be carrying their child, and Bill didn't want to expose them to any potential hazards. It was one thing to conduct an interview where the environment was controlled, but this would be different.

Most likely they were set to become parents in nine months or so. It took a specific set of circumstances for an omega to conceive, but once those circumstances were met – it was what they were designed to do, and they did it well. Of course a high probability of conceiving wasn't a 100% chance, but now wasn't the time to take chances with Holden's health and safety. 

He was met at the airport by a fortyish looking man with a serious countenance, though he smiled warmly as he shook Bill's hand. “Adam Cooper.” He introduced himself. “I'll be your liaison with the police department here.” He glanced at his watch. “Hungry? There's a decent place near here.”

“Sure, that will be fine,” Bill agreed, his stomach reminding him that breakfast had been some time ago.

“So, is there anything I should know?” Bill asked as they ate.

“I'm going to be honest with you, but this is just between us,” Cooper began. When Bill nodded his agreement, the officer continued. “This case was mishandled from the start. There can be a tendency to put less effort in to certain victims.”

“So prostitutes and drug addicts don't warrant anybody's time?” 

“Well... I don't want to make it sound like that. We have some good guys working in our department that care, but when it comes to time and resources... they tend to go to victims who aren't knowingly putting their lives at risk.”

“That's a polite way of putting it,” Bill replied without rancor. He didn't want to alienate the other man out right, but he couldn't condone the attitude. 

“Yes, well... these are people I have to work with every day. I encouraged them to take the first two victims more seriously, but it wasn't until one of the families started applying pressure that they agreed to take another look.” He leaned forward slightly, looking earnest. “No one is going to give you any problems. No one wants a killer on the loose, but there's some touchy feelings because of the way the case was handled at the outset. Just don't rub their faces in it.”

“I wasn't planning on it,” Bill assured him.

Relief washed over Cooper's features. “It's hard for people to admit that they're wrong, and it's not easy to ask for help.” He took on a more business like air. “As much as I hate to see another girl turn up dead, it definitely reinforces the pattern. The only anomaly was the the second victim being strangled instead of suffocated.”

“It's possible that the second victim did something to make him angry, so he chose a less passive means of killing. Or, he could be using what's on hand. Though, if he's prepared enough to have sedatives in his possession and be prepared to administer them, you'd think he'd be better prepared with the rest of his tools.”

Cooper nodded his agreement. “One thing they all have in common is no blood. Whoever this guy is, he doesn't seem too keen to make a mess.”

“The bodies weren't moved far, were they?”

“No, he left the first two where they died. The second body had been moved and dumped.”

Bill thought for a moment. “Interesting. We have someone who has gone out of his way to have a quiet victim. They're sedated first, then killed, then assaulted. On top of that, two weren't moved. He could be smaller or have some kind of physical issue. He used some kind of cord or rope with the victim who was strangled?”

Cooper nodded his assent.

“That would also make it easier. It takes a good bit of strength to strangle someone with your bare hands.”

“Or maybe he just doesn't want to be rejected,” Cooper suggested. “Someone who's drugged to unconsciousness can't say no, and a corpse can't complain.”

“That too. It's not unusual for these guys to have trouble with women.” Bill motioned for the waitress to bring the check. “Shall we discuss this with the rest of the department?”

* * *

“All three victims were white, and these kinds of crimes rarely cross racial lines. That means we're looking for a white male. Due to the sedatives found in the victims' systems, the killer wouldn't need to be a large man.” Bill watched his audience carefully. The officers had been aloof, uncertain of his presence among them, but they seemed to be listening.

“What about the means of administering the drugs?” One young officer asked.

“He could have slipped them into something like a drink. All three had a history of addiction, so it's possible they took it of their own free will thinking it was something else. The suspect would need access to whatever he was giving them.”

“It was Lorazepam.” Cooper chimed in. “Only available by prescription, though that doesn't mean someone wasn't selling it illegally.”

“If this is part of his tool kit, he'd want to make sure he'd have a ready supply. Has anyone checked with the pharmacies in the area? Any thefts?” Bill asked. “It's also possible this is a medication the suspect was prescribed.” No immediate response met his question. “OK, we need to do that, cover our bases even if it's a long shot. It won't take much effort.”

“We'll put Dean and Sanders on that.” Cooper gestured to the young man who had asked Bill the question earlier. He turned to Bill. “The first two bodies weren't moved post mortem, and while it's possible he took them from some distance away, it likely wasn't far. We'll need to talk to other women working in those areas. Maybe they've heard stories of someone acting suspicious.”

“They're out there trying to pick up prostitutes, of course they're suspicious,” another officer cut in with more attitude than Bill wanted to see.

“There's a difference between being a lowlife and the kind of person who murders women and fucks their corpses,” Bill stated, hoping Officer Attitude wasn't going to be a liability.

“We can look into that tomorrow, if you're game,” Cooper said to Bill.

“Of course.” He could see why Cooper wanted them to tackle talking to potential witnesses themselves, if Cooper didn't trust some of the other officers to mind their manners.

Cooper drove Bill to his motel that night. “I don't like cases like this,” he admitted as he smoothly stopped at a red light. “I don't care who they are, or what they've done. When I see women murdered I think of my wife, my sister. Are you married?”

“I have a mate.”

“Oh, alpha.”

“I worked on a case a while back involving a string of murdered omegas. It was...difficult.” Difficult didn't begin to describe the horror he had felt when faced with the body of a young dead omega. “It was hard not to see my mate in the victims.”

“We all worry about the one's we love.” Cooper's mouth twitched up in a humorless smile. “Look, the officer with the attitude, that was Dean. I put him with Sanders where he can do the least amount of damage. He was one of the ones working the case originally when it was just one victim, and he botched it.”

“Ah.”

“You know how some people, when faced with a mistake, admit to it and try to do better? Dean just doubles down. He screwed up, knows it --”

“And has his panties in a bunch?” Bill supplied.

“Yeah. When he's on, and cares about the case he's working on, he's great – probably one of the best. When he's feeling unmotivated.... well, dead prostitutes aren't motivating for him. Sanders is a good kid. He just needs more experience.” He fell silent as he pulled up to the front of the motel. “I'll pick you up tomorrow. We can grab some breakfast.”

The motel room was similar to the countless ones he and Holden had stayed in over the course of Road School and traveling to help with cases. Neutral colored walls, cheap art of the pastel variety that only seemed to exist in motel rooms, and a bathroom designed to create claustrophobia greeted him. Only Holden wouldn't be sharing it with him. His mate's absence left the room feeling unnaturally quiet with just the hum of the air conditioner to provide background noise. He pulled the heavy curtains to, and began readying for bed. He wondered if the killer had come by the sedatives illegally, or if he, like Holden, suffered from some form of anxiety. Could that be why he needed a completely helpless and quiet victim? Bill decided there was plenty of time tomorrow to worry about what issues the killer might have besides the obvious and switched on the TV to try and distract himself from the unpleasant images that kept intruding as well as the absence of his mate.


	3. Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holden and Wendy commiserate over their respective situations while Bill searches for potential witnesses.

Wendy had worked with Holden for the past three years, and she was familiar with his moods and behavior. Being a natural observer of other people anyway, she didn't find Holden particularly difficult to read or understand. His foibles and difficulties were, to her, obvious enough, and he didn't go out of his way to hide whatever he happened to be feeling. Or maybe his own communication issues didn't allow him to realize how much other people could pick up. The omega wasn't happy. He missed his mate, and Bill being sent off without him acted as a reminder of the restrictions placed on him. 

Wendy understood. She found herself in similar situations over the years due to her gender, and being between relationships had left her feeling more alone than she would like. Not that she could discuss that freely. She doubted Holden would actually be bothered by her sexual preference, but long experience had taught her to be circumspect. She was used to keeping her personal life private. Still, misery loved company, or so the saying went.

“How about a drink after work,” she suggested. She told herself she was taking pity on Holden, but she was just as much taking pity on herself.

He looked up without meeting her gaze, surprised by the sudden offer. “Oh, sure,” he sounded pleased, and Wendy offered him a smile.

Once ensconced in a corner booth away from most of the noise and bustle of happy hour, Holden surprised her by not ordering alcohol. “Coke? No beer? No martini?” Wendy asked in disbelief. Holden was not one to turn down a cocktail, if the opportunity presented itself.

“Not tonight,” Holden replied, with the air of someone trying to downplay something. 

She studied him closely, thinking back. “Are you pregnant?” she finally asked, remembering that he had been in heat not that long ago.

“I don't actually know...” His voice trailed off, realizing that he had basically given himself away. He sighed. “I don't know that yet. I could be.”

Wendy stared at him, surprised. “By accident or planned?”

“Planned. I have to go off of two very effective medications in order to conceive. Home pregnancy tests can't accurately detect anything until three weeks after the last heat.” Now that the cat was out of the bag, he seemed willing to talk about it.

Wendy was silent for a long moment, trying to square what she knew of her coworker with pregnancy. She supposed she shouldn't be too shocked as it was a natural function of his biology. He must have some natural drive to want to procreate with his partner, especially considering how instinct driven alphas and omegas were.

“I'm a little surprised. You usually avoid anything that calls attention to your status, and there's nothing discreet about a pregnant omega.”

“I'm thirty-two. I only have so much time to do this, and since I'm not traveling for the foreseeable future anyway...” He looked as though he half expected a negative reaction.

Wendy sat back, still regarding him with interest. “I have to admit, I'm a little impressed that you've decided to live your life instead of trying to hide what you are.”

He seemed surprised by the praise.“I guess things have been moving in this direction anyway. I have to admit, it does feel strange. I wasn't raised to want this, but I do.” 

“Then that's what you should do.” When people set aside the expectations of others to live their own lives as they saw fit, it gave Wendy a sense of hope that she might be able to achieve that in her own life. She considered Holden carefully, the admission of his pregnancy causing her to teeter on the edge of throwing caution to the wind.

She was used to keeping her life to herself, but that didn't mean she liked it. It was the downside to leaving her position at the university for the FBI, a much less progressive workplace. “Sometimes the expectations we're raised with aren't what's best for us...I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago.”

“Oh, I'm sorr – oh, you're – I'm still sorry.” He fell silent for a few long moments. “Was the story you told Henley in that interview you and Gregg did true?”

She hid a small smile behind her glass. It was such a Holden response. “I did draw from personal experience. That's the first thing you thought of?”

“Sure, it was brilliant. I've done the same thing, omitting anything too omega specific. You've kept this a secret all this time?” He seemed completely unbothered by the idea that Wendy might prefer women.

“The FBI isn't exactly a bastion of social progress. You know that,” she pointed out.

Holden leaned forward, his manner earnest. “Yes, but I'm with Bill. Bill is a man.”

“Bill is an alpha and you're omega, it's not quite the same.”

“But I'm still a man, and so is Bill. I know I say stupid things sometimes, but I'm not a hypocrite.”

“No, you aren't,” Wendy agreed, setting down her empty glass and leaning back against the back of the booth. “But this can't go beyond you and Bill.” She didn't expect him to keep this bit of information from his mate. She had also known Bill for a long time and wasn't too worried about his reaction. “The rest of the FBI isn't going to be this understanding.”

“No, of course not.” He hesitated, perhaps trying to figure out if he was about to stick his foot in his mouth. “I know it's not exactly the same, but I do know what it's like to hide a large piece of yourself. I did it for years.”

“I know, that's one of the reasons I told you.” She might question her choice tomorrow, but at that moment, Wendy felt lighter than she had in some time.

* * *

“I'm sorry, I don't know anything about that,” the woman said, her manner nervous. It was clear that Bill was the last person she wanted to be speaking with. “I have some place I need to be,” and she hurried away.

Bill sighed inwardly. Finding people who were willing to engage with law enforcement was turning out to be a bigger problem than he expected. _Maybe it's me_. Over the years, Bill had developed the ability to communicate easily with other people. However, he feared that his appearance and credentials made him intimidating. _If only Holden was here._ Holden might have been many things, but intimidating was not one of them. He was attractive and relatively harmless looking. Bonus points if they realized he was omega.

He made his way down the street, stepping around a puddle that had formed in the cracked sidewalk. He hoped that Cooper had better luck, but wasn't counting on it. It appeared that the people living and working in that area didn't have the best relationship with the police. He remembered what Cooper had said about Dean, and could understand where some of the friction came from beyond the obvious fear of being arrested. 

“Ah Bill,” Cooper waved from a little ways away, standing next to a young woman smoking a cigarette. “We may have something.”

Bill hurried over, praying that Cooper did indeed have something. The young woman eyed Bill curiously, but didn't seem concerned. She shoved a strand of died blond hair back behind one ear and took another drag. The familiar acrid chemical scent of cigarette filled the air around him. He had smoked heavily before he ended up with a younger mate he needed to stick around for. The once calming scent now didn't seem so pleasant.

“This is Special Agent Tench. Can you tell him what you just told me?” Cooper also had an easy way of talking to other people, and Bill could understand why he took on this particular duty himself.

“Sure. It's nice to see the police finally taking an interest in women dying,” she said with some disapproval, before turning to Bill. “I didn't see anything myself, but I was warned about a man driving a green car. I don't know what kind exactly, so don't ask me, but it wasn't new looking. That's what I was told. The man was a weirdo and a creep, and it might not be safe to go with him.”

“Were you given a description of the man?” Bill ask, hope building in his chest.

The woman dropped the cigarette butt on the sidewalk and ground it out under the heal of one beat up boot. “Um, youngish, and clean shaven - neat. That's all I know. I'd tell you more, if I could. It would be nice to have one less creep to worry about.” She eyed them again, suspicion forming on her rather pretty features. “You are really going to do something about the murders, right? You aren't going to just give up when something more interesting comes along?”

“Ma'am, we're going to do all we can to find this guy,” Bill assured her. “That's why the FBI was brought in to help.”

“FBI, huh? Well, that's better than we usually get. Usually some jackass just takes a statement and nothing ever happens.”

Cooper handed her a business card. “If you hear anything else, please give me a call.”

She studied the card seriously for a moment, before sticking it in the back pocket of her denim skirt. “Sure. We done here?”

“We're done, thank you for your help.”

She shrugged one narrow shoulder and turned to waltz off down the street. Bill turned to Cooper with a raised eyebrow. “This doesn't sound like the first instance of murdered women.”

Cooper let out an explosive breath of air as they headed back to the car. “No, but not like this. Someone turning up dead under suspicious circumstances, sexual assault complaints, that kind of thing – not that those aren't serious,” he hurriedly added. “But they aren't out of the ordinary. This is out of the ordinary.”

While Bill agreed that the current case was out of the ordinary, and the reason for the existence of the BSU, he was starting to wonder a little about the police department and Cooper himself who was so quick to give them a pass. Not that Bill didn't understand at least part of the issue. There was a group of people putting themselves at high risk of being victimized, and the department's resources only went so far. However, that wasn't an excuse to not take those complaints seriously as the young woman had been implying. He supposed Cooper was in a difficult situation. He was attempting to support the department, the people he worked with everyday and knew far better than Bill, but he also wanted to be honest with Bill. And if nothing else, Cooper was upset by the string of murders. Bill didn't believe for an instant that was fake. _No, he's trying to do the best he can with a department that overall doesn't feel the same sense of urgency. They probably don't realize how bad this can get if the perpetrator is allowed to continue operating. They're used to violent crimes happening here, and they don't see how this is different...yet._

* * *

Holden picked up on the third ring. “Hello?” He sounded distracted, as if he had been in the middle of doing something. _Probably reading,_ Bill thought. It was the time of night he usually settled down with a book.

“Hey, baby.” Bill smiled into the receiver, feeling some of the physical distance melt away at the sound of his voice.

“Oh, Bill!” There was excitement now in Holden's soft voice, and Bill warmed at the feeling of being wanted. “I lost track of time. How are you? How's the case?”

_Poor thing's probably lonely and bored._ “I'm fine, just a little tired. We've been trying to find any potential witnesses. Any women working the same area who were propositioned by someone suspicious.”

“That sounds like it has potential. Anything useful?”

“One girl said she had been warned about a man driving a green car, that he was a weirdo and to stay away from him. But she couldn't tell us more than that. It's too bad you aren't here – they'd be more likely to talk to you.” Bill wearily rubbed his eyes. “You're less intimidating.”

“Oh, um, thanks?” The omega seemed uncertain as to how he should take Bill's description of him.

“I say that in the most complimentary way possible. Though you are weird, so who knows,” he teased. Bill could picture Holden rolling his eyes at him. “Miss me?”

“Yes, of course. It's too quiet here, and I don't like sleeping alone.”

“You lived alone for years,” Bill pointed out.

“Not recently. I'm not used to it now.”

“I'm flattered.” Bill felt some of his tension ebb away at he bantered with his mate. “I miss you too, even though you use me as a pillow.”

“You make a good pillow.” Humor tinged Holden's voice. “And you enjoy it anyway.”

“You're warm and smell good,” Bill admitted. “You _feel_ good,” he purred, thinking wistfully of the lazy morning sex they engaged in when they had a quiet weekend day to themselves.

Holden laughed, a low warm sound. “I see. Is this how it's going to go?”

“How what's going to go?'”

“You're lonely and aroused, so you call me for masturbatory material.” He sounded very prim, and Bill had to bite back a laugh.

“Do you ever listen to yourself?” He snickered. “I can think of better things to do with your mouth.”

“I'm sure. And I would be happy to blow you, if I were there. See, you could be enjoying really good oral sex, if it wasn't for the FBI. Bureaucracy is damaging your sex life.”

“I'll make sure to include that in my official complaint,” Bill replied in mock seriousness, which was difficult when Holden sounded so genuinely affronted.

“You should,” he sniffed, and Bill couldn't keep the laughter back.

“OK,” he managed to get himself back under control. “Any plans this weekend?”

Holden's voice brightened. “Brian's staying over. He wanted to come even though you're out of town.” He sounded so pleased and gratified that it pulled at Bill's heart.

“Of course, your his dad too,” Bill reminded him gently. Somewhere along the line he had come to the realization that Holden wasn't used to being readily accepted by other people and therefore didn't expect them to seek out his company, Bill being the notable exception.

“If we can get someone to talk to us, I could be home next week.”

“I hope so.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

“Bill, do not call me sweetheart,” Holden huffed.

Bill laughed. “OK, honey, talk to you later.” He hung up the phone on Holden's outraged response as his mirth burst out. God, he needed a good laugh. Brian wanting to see Holden didn't surprise Bill one bit, but he wondered how Nancy was taking it. 

His ex-wife was not comfortable dealing with Holden, and typically chose to direct anything Brian related through Bill. He understood her discomfort, but she needed to recognize that Bill wasn't parenting on his own. Holden was fifty percent of the equation, and she couldn't conveniently ignore him forever. _If they made plans for the weekend, then Nancy must be taking it OK. Or at least, she's not taking anything out on Holden. She'll wait and complain to me when I'm back._ He corrected himself. _Whenever that will be. If we can just find someone who saw something before another body turns up._

* * *

Bill sat in the car, radio on low, though he barely noticed it. Finding the information they needed turned out to be more difficult than first expected. Though they had some success with their first report of the green car, it had been their last. Either the people they talked to didn't have useful information, or they didn't want to speak to police. The latter had turned into the bigger issue. The women Bill and Cooper approached spooked as soon as they realized who they were. So that left Bill sitting in a rental car pretending to not be a Fed in the hopes that someone would willingly get in the car and talk to him

Bill, being from out of town, was the natural one to play the part – no one would recognize him. He had a difficult time believing no one had heard anything. After three murders in a relatively small area, people had to have some idea what was going on. And it wasn't just that they had been murdered – murders were not uncommon in down at the heel urban areas, but these weren't people shot in a drug deal gone bad, or a robbery, or in a terrible instance of domestic violence. They were on the face of it, senseless, with no clear motive. Right up Bill and the BSU's alley, and they should have caught the attention of the locals. Especially women engaging in the same activities as the victims.

He started to wonder if he gave off some kind of vibe that screamed 'law enforcement, do not approach', when a young lady tapped on his window. She leaned forward to see his face and offered a smile, though her dark eyes were wary. “Looking for some company?”

“Yes, if you're willing to oblige,” he replied, attempting to exude calm. “Hop in.”

The woman made her way to the passenger side and lowered herself into the seat. She was of indeterminate age, perhaps a little older than Bill had first thought, her body a little too thin and angular. Her face pinched. “What's your name?”

“Sandra.”

“Bill, I don't usually do this, but my wife and I just split, and, well...”

“Say no more.” Sandra smiled as he pulled away from the curb, her expression more genuine this time, and it took years off her face. Bill wondered at the nerve it took to get in a car with a strange man who could just as soon kill you as pay you for your services. But then, he doubted Sandra spent a lot of time interviewing serial murderers either. 

“How long were you married?”

“Twenty three years,” the number popped into his head, and he briefly thought of Nancy. How long ago that had been when their marriage had been brand new and full of hope.

“That's a long time – you have me beat by twenty one years.”

“But I'm older than you,” Bill pointed out, instinctively liking Sandra. He could see where a lonely, desperate man might enjoy her company. He was also aware that he was about to give her a shock.

“I'm older than I look. I just have good genes,” she smiled again, seeming at ease despite Bill being a complete stranger. Maybe she had developed some kind of instinct for men who were a threat.

He reached for his badge as he slowed the car to pull over to the side of the road, and winced inwardly at the expected reaction.

“What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Uh-uh.” She made a move to open the door, but Bill hit the safety lock. She continued to futilely pull on the handle.

“Calm down, you aren't in any trouble. I just need to talk to you.”

“Yeah right, no, let me out. You have no right to do this!”

Bill sighed. “Technically I do, but I'm just looking for information. I'm not interested in prostitution or whatever else you might be up to. The police are hardly going to send in the FBI for that,” he pointed out.

That seemed to get her attention, because she sat back a little and regarded him cautiously. “I'm looking for information and have been having a hard time finding people who are willing to talk to me. I'm part of a murder investigation,” he continued to explain now that she had calmed down enough to listen.

“Oh, those dead girls?”

_Bingo._ “Yes, they were likely killed by a client. Have you heard about any suspicious men soliciting prostitutes in this area? You're in the position to possible know something.”

She sat regarding him carefully, and she didn't appear strung as tight. “Creepy assholes are an occupational hazard. I can't say that I've had any real bad ones lately – there's been some who are jerks, but not the kind that make your skin crawl....” She fell quiet again, considering. “I have heard that there's a guy who drives a green car and to stay away, but I've never met him. I stayed away.” She flashed a shadow of her previous smile.

“Who did you hear that from?” Bill asked, pulling out a small notepad now that the car was parked.

“A girl I know, friend of mine. _She_ has a friend, I don't know her, but this other girl did meet the green car man. Gave her the heebie jeebies, said there was something about the way he looked at her. Wasn't a big guy like you, didn't look like someone you'd suspect of anything, but there was some bad vibes going on. I think something almost happened, and she got away, but I don't know the whole story.”

“Would she be willing to talk to me?” Bill asked, feeling now more than ever that they were on the right track. “Do you have her name?”

Sandra sat with her head cocked watching him. “Probably, if I put in a good word, though I feel funny about giving her name to the police.”

“I'm not the local police. Look, she doesn't even have to come down to the station. I can meet her where she feels comfortable. I'm just trying to find this guy before kills someone else. Guys like this don't usually stop until someone stops them.”

She nodded, expression serious. “I'll do what I can. Her name's Debbie, but I don't know her last or where she's crashing. My friend would know, though.” She seemed to come to a decision. “If you can take me back to Eleventh and Elm, I can try to find her and give you a call.”

Bill scribbled down a phone number and handed her the card. “You can reach me here. Just ask for Agent Tench.”

“OK, I hope you get this guy.”

“So do I, believe me.”


	4. Endings and Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Cooper continue the search for the green car man. Back in Virginia, Holden anxiously waits to find out if he is or isn't pregnant.

Holden tugged at the cart, jostling it enough in a rattle of metal parts to break it free from its companions. He had intentionally waited until after dinner in order to avoid the grocery store at it's most crowded, so he was able to wander down the aisles unimpeded, grabbing what he felt he needed. He managed to leave the list still attached to the notepad he had written it down on.

_Bread, cereal, milk, pasta...pasta is easy. Peanut butter...Brian likes peanut butter. I think all kids do. Oh fruit, I should grab some fruit. I shouldn't have forgotten the list._

He maneuvered the cart around a man staring disconsolately at the mayonnaise. If he had been shopping just for himself, he could make his way through the store on auto pilot, but he had an almost eight year old kid to think about. And though Brian wasn't picky as far as kids went, he was still a boy whose taste ran more to grilled cheese and tomato soup than fine dining. Holden reflected that it was for the best. When it came to cooking, he did better when he kept it simple.

He grabbed some frozen peas, another kid friendly way of making sure Brian ate something green. On his way to pick up soap, an item he had nearly forgotten about, he passed the shelves carrying home pregnancy tests. He stared at the small boxes emblazoned with either the silhouette of a pregnant woman in pink or a pregnant omega in yellow. He absently wondered how, in the language of colors, omegas got saddled with yellow. He was _actually_ a man. He just had some additional plumbing. No need for an entirely different color.

He batted away the useless train of thought and wondered if he should go ahead and pick one up. _Or should I pick up two just to make sure?_ It was still a little too soon to take it, and he had been trying not to worry about what his body was or wasn't doing in the meantime. However, not worrying about things had never been his strength. He found himself wondering if he was tired because he was pregnant, or if the fatigue was caused by going into work early. Or did he feel odd because he was carrying a baby, or because he was obsessively paying attention to every physical sensation?

He dithered for a few more minutes, feeling awkward. He berated himself for being silly and quickly grabbed a box, managing to knock several off the shelf in the process. Blushing, he threw one in the cart and put the others back, before grabbing a second...just in case. His mind was quickly taken off of pregnancy tests when he realized he would have to backtrack through the store for cheese. 

It was a relief to hear Bill's voice when he called before bed, but since nothing interesting had happened that day, Holden found himself telling his mate about his trip to the family planning section of the store. “I bought a pregnancy test. I can't take it yet, and you aren't here anyway. But since I was there--”

“When you can take it, go ahead and take it whether I'm there or not. Then you can stop worrying about it.” Bill cut off his nervous babble.

“Are you sure?” Holden didn't want to cut Bill out of the process, but he had to admit he was getting antsy about what his state might be.

“Does my being there change the result?”

“No.”

“Then take the test. Unless you want to wait?” 

“I want to _know._ ” 

“There you go, then. Hopefully it won't be too much longer. We found someone who might have interacted with the suspect. He happens to drive a green car.” Bill sounded pleased, so Holden assumed he felt good about the information they were able to get out of the witness.

“At the very least, even if he isn't your suspect, you could be stopping a killer in the making.” 

Bill groaned. “Trust me, we don't need anymore of these assholes running around. I have a good feeling about this. Oh, I assume you talked to Nancy? How was she?”

“Uh, like Nancy?” Holden wasn't sure how to answer that question. He didn't know Nancy all that well, and betas weren't exactly open books to him. “I know she doesn't like me. I'm the other...well, not woman.” He rolled his eyes at Bill's snort of amusement. “But she's polite. I'm going to pick Brian up after work Friday.”

“That's about as much as you can probably hope for. Just wanted to make sure there wasn't any trouble.” Bill sounded resigned, and Holden hurried to reassure him.

“No trouble that I know about. Go get your green car man.”

“I will, good night.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Bill hung up halfway through Holden's protest. He didn't really mind Bill's teasing – it meant he was feeling OK. He shook his head. _Alphas._

* * *

“At first he seemed OK,” Debbie said, perched on the edge of the old worn sofa that took up most of the space in the tiny apartment's living room. “You can't always tell with people, but there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Just a youngish man, clean cut, decent looking car but not fancy. He wasn't very big either.”

“Do you remember the make and model of the car?” Bill asked, while he didn't want to loom over a nervous witness, there wasn't anywhere else to sit.

Debbie thought for a moment. “I think it was a Chevy, but I couldn't tell you what model or how old. I don't think it was brand new, but it wasn't a beater either. It had tan vinyl seats. I only remember that because it was hot that day, and my legs were sticking to the seat.”

Cooper dutifully noted all of this down. “That will help narrow things down a little,” he encouraged.

Debbie gave a tremulous smile. “He didn't seem that strange at first, but the longer I was with him, the more he started to creep me out. There was just something about him that felt wrong. He was trying to be friendly, but I could tell it was an act – there was something in his face, his eyes, I think, that said it was an act. And it wasn't just nerves about paying for some company. He was cold underneath. That's the best way I can describe it. But I was already in the car with him, and I told myself I was just being jumpy – that he was just an awkward guy.”

“Can you give a more detailed description? About how tall? What his hair color was?”

“Oh, sure. He was only a couple of inches taller than me, so 5'8” tops, white, blond hair. It can be hard to tell a person's age, but he definitely wasn't early twenties, and he couldn't have been much more than early thirties. Does that help?” Anxiety crept into he voice.

_She's been through something traumatic._ Bill though. _Especially knowing three other women didn't survive the encounter._ “It helps a lot,” Bill assured her. “It's a lot more information than we had yesterday.”

His reply seemed to boost her confidence at least momentarily, and she continued. “He wanted to go to a motel. Be more comfortable. I didn't have a problem with that. Better a motel than somewhere isolated – I was still feeling nervous.” She took a deep breath. “So we got there – cheap little place about fifteen minutes drive. I thought I would feel better, feel less trapped once I got out of the car, but it felt worse. Something about him seemed to change. He didn't seem so much like the clean cut young man anymore. He must have gotten the room before, because he already had a key. It was on the lower floor, and the door opened out to the outside. He walked with a slight limp. It stuck with me, because I was looking for weaknesses, ways I could get away if I had to.”

“He insisted he make a drink for me, and that hit me wrong. I'm not going to take something if I don't know what's in it. My thought was he'd knock me out, take what he wanted, and not pay. He was trying to come off as charming about it, like he was chatting me up, but I could see like everything else, it was just an act. I told him no thank you, and he started getting pushy. That proved to me that I shouldn't drink anything he gave me. Why be pushy about it otherwise? I knew I had to get out of there – he was getting more upset with me, so I ran for the door. He tried to stop me, knocked me into the door frame. I had a huge bruise on my arm and hip for awhile after that. But whatever was wrong with his leg kept him from moving as fast, and I was real motivated at that point. What is it? Fight or flight? So I took off and ran to the gas station next door. Managed to get a ride back home. I warned everybody I could about him, but I guess it wasn't enough.”

“Good thing you didn't accept that drink. It probably saved your life,” Bill said. “Did he say anything about himself? What he did for a living, or where he lived?”

She shook her head, looking downcast again. “No, not really. He didn't have any kind of an accent, and the plates where Michigan – I don't remember the number. I wasn't thinking about it at the time. It did have one of those hangers that people put on their rear view mirrors – for parking, a pass for a lot. But I don't remember what it said, just that it was there. I can't really tell you anything else. He didn't talk much before the motel room, and then he was mostly trying to get me to drink.”

“That's OK, you were very helpful, thank you,” Cooper said.

She nodded as she stared off into what might have been.

* * *

“On the small side and walks with a limp. That part of the profile checks out.” _Holden will be happy to hear that._

“I was thinking about that parking pass,” Cooper began. “He's most likely working in the downtown area where parking is at a premium. Could be from a garage or above ground lot. That would also mean he didn't have to drive far to hunt, if the center of his territory was his place of employment.”

“That would be a logical assumption. We still don't know where he's getting the sedatives from. We need to check with Dean and Sanders and see if they managed to come up with anything. We also need to start looking for that car. I wish we knew the year and model, but Debbie gave a fair amount of detail. Green Chevy sedan, Michigan plates, tan interior, not current, in good condition, has a parking pass on the mirror – provided he doesn't remove it.”

“Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better about this now,” Cooper admitted. 

They returned to the police station to find a serious looking Sanders waiting for them. “We might have found something useful. There's a pharmacy that missing some Lorazepam. The pharmacist said he never would have noticed, if we hadn't asked about it. It wasn't a lot, but it's not matching up with what the inventory should be. They haven't had any break ins either. It's in the down town area, here's the address.” He handed Cooper a post-it note with the contact information for the pharmacy scribbled on it.

“Ah, downtown.” Bill exchanged a glance with Cooper.

“We should go down and talk him, he could be an employee. Should be easy to find out, considering our green car man walks with a limp.” Cooper sounded positively gleeful. 

Like Cooper, Bill had a good feeling about where things were headed. The pharmacy in question was a Walgreens situated right downtown. An easy drive to green car man's hunting ground and surrounded by lots and garages that might require a visible parking pass. It all fit.

The pharmacist was waiting for them, looking concerned. “I never would have known anything was missing, if one of your officers hadn't called asking about it.”

“And you haven't had any break ins?” Bill decided it wouldn't hurt to ask again.

He shook his head. “No. The most recent incident was three years ago. We have security cameras as well. The store manager has been reviewing them, since we got the call from the police, but there's nothing suspicious aside from a couple of kids trying to steal potato chips.”

Bill pegged the pharmacist as late forties to early fifties, and he was on the tall side. Definitely not the green car man himself. “What about employees? Have you had any trouble with employee theft?”

He hesitated. “Not that I'm aware of.”

“Do any of your employees match this description?” Cooper asked. “White male, mid twenties to early thirties, blond hair, around 5'8”, and walks with a limp?”

The pharmacist stared at him for a moment, taken aback. “That sounds like Jeff Andrews. He did a tour of Vietnam and injured his leg. Is he wanted for something?”

“Does he by any chance drive a green Chevy?” Bill added.

“Why yes, I believe he does.”

“He's wanted in connection with a murder case. Is he at work today? If not, we'll need his home address.”

The pharmacist paled. “A murder case? I know he was a bit awkward, but I never would have assumed... of course, or course. He doesn't work today, but I can get you his address. Just a moment.” He came back a few minutes later and handed Cooper a scrap of paper with a hastily scrawled address.

* * *

Holden read the directions one more time just to be certain he didn't screw up the process, though rationally, it was foolproof. _Pee in a cup, put the stick in it, if it turns blue, you have a baby. OK, got it._ He debated one more time waiting for Bill, but hadn't been able to put it off any longer. The pregnancy test had been sitting by the bathroom sink staring at him, and he found himself unable to resist it's call. He did as directed, feeling strangely awkward despite being alone in his own home. There was something a little surreal about taking a test to determine if another human being had taken up residence in one's midsection.

He placed the cup carefully by the sink and pulled the wrapper off the stick and deposited within. _Now wait five minutes._ He stared at the stick and the cup for what seemed like several minutes, but was really only thirty seconds before forcing himself out of the bathroom. He reflected that this was one activity he'd never thought he'd end up doing. In fact, he had always been scrupulously careful about his medications so he wouldn't have to. Now he knew he'd be deeply disappointed if it came back negative. 

He wandered into the kitchen to put away the few dishes in the drying rack by the sink and glanced at the clock. Three minutes had gone by. He sighed. Maybe he should have waited for Bill, so his mate could at least distract him. He leaned back against the counter and jiggled his foot restlessly. He wondered, not for the first time, what his mother would think if she knew what her son had been up to and felt a stab of rebelliousness. He was doing the most omega thing an omega could do, and there was nothing anyone could say or do about it. He glanced at the clock again. _One minute._

He knew the chances of pregnancy were high. It was the entire point of heat and knotting and all the other oddities that made alphas and omegas what they were. _Five minutes, it's been five minutes._ He walked back to the bathroom, crossing the threshold to his future.

* * *

Bill's car was in the driveway, but the house was quiet as Holden let himself in. He found Bill asleep on the sofa, curled on his side. Holden smiled at the sight, a surge of affection filling him. He looked so cuddly when he was sleeping, and if the sofa had been bigger, he would have snuggled up against Bill's sleeping form. He quietly went about changing his clothes and sat down next to the sofa. Holden pressed kisses to Bill's forehead and mouth, and the alpha jerked slightly and reached out with a sleep clumsy hand to press his palm to his mate's cheek before bringing it around to cup the nape of Holden's neck.

Holden sank into the kiss and Bill's warm lips and mouth. Bill eventually broke the kiss, so he could reposition himself, making room for Holden to nestle half on top of him. It was nice feeling Bill's arms around him, to feel the steady beat of his heart, and the warmth of his solid body. Holden made a content sound before tilting his head for another kiss. 

“Flight bad?” He asked.

“Delayed. Had to sit at the airport for an extra three hours.” Bill's voice was still roughened from sleep, and he rubbed a hand up and down Holden's back. “We got the guy, the green car man. He was a Vietnam vet, worked for a pharmacy. It's where he got the drugs. Oh, and he was on the small side and walked with a limp.” He flashed a satisfied smile at Holden and gave him a little squeeze.

“Bill?” Holden began, heart speeding up.

“Yes, baby?”

“I have something to tell you too. The test was positive.” Holden's mouth curved into a smile around the words.


End file.
